Thursday, June 26, 2008

Talkin' Heads -- MC #3

At last he had told her all.

Megda sat staring at him for a moment in silence. When she finally spoke, her voice was quiet, but terse. “You said that to your father? You said that to the Treespeaker? And you wonder why he lost his temper?”
Dovan felt hot all over. Why was everyone so mad at him tonight? “I told him I didn’t believe it!”

Megda’s face softened suddenly and she reached across and took his hand. “Dovan, before this Outlander came, before Kattan died, who was your father?”

Dovan shrugged, not understanding the question. “He was Jakanash, the Treespeaker. He still is.”

Megda nodded. “Treespeaker, yes. And didn’t he have the respect of everyone in this village?”

“Of course!”

“Does he still have that respect?”

“Yes, of course.”

Now Megda shook her head and squeezed his hand. “Are you sure? When even his only son doesn’t defend him against the suggestion that he’s been tricking his people for the last twenty-five years, that everything he has done has been a lie?”

Dovan felt sick. He was embarrassed to find tears springing to his eyes. He pulled his hand from Megda’s and covered his face. What had he done?

4 comments:

  1. I did mildly care about Dovan. It is difficult in 250 words (especially if taken from a novel) to develope a character, emphathy.

    It is easier to write a new 250 word piece than to work with a WIP>



    *If you want to know what happens next
    I am curious as to why he did not defend his father, and exactly what was said.

    I enjoyed your writing.

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  2. intriguing. I'm interested in what would happen next but I'm not sure I'm sympathetic. I think the MC has just done something very stupid and it's probably going to cost him.

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  3. I'm a bit concerned the MC has ratted out his father and wonder about a character who would do this and regret it afterward. So his motives are questionable. It doesn't seem like a smart move to me, so I don't care about him, but I DO care about his dad. 8^) Yes, I'd like to read more. This was well-written.

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  4. I think I might be able to sympathize with him--he's starting to realize his mistake and probably regret it, so while I can't say this SECTION made me care a lot, I would be mildly interested enough to read more.

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